Animated Atrocities: Quagmire's Mom

Show: Family Guy
Episode: S13 E10
Year: 2015

Writer(s):Tom Devanney
Director(s): Greg Colton, James Purdum (Supervising), Dominic Bianchi (Supervising)


You see that picture of the Wild Things from Maurice Sendak's book with their heads blown off? Yeah, Family Guy literally just murdered another part of our childhoods. This is really all I need to show to tell you to stay away. But I'll explain things in better context. Let's start with the fact that it takes 8 minutes to get to the actual plot. That might not seem like a lot of time for a 22-minute episode, but trust me, it is. The B-plot involves Peter learning his real first name is Justin and he becomes a stereotypical teenage surfer douchebag. This is a long segment of nothing of substance happening, the cutaways range from sort of funny to bland to horrifying like the above. Also they use a cutaway involving the song “Baba O'Riley” from The Who, which is literally 1 minute and 15 seconds of nothing happening (yes, I counted). It's worse than the doorbell "gag" from the SpongeBob episode "Pets or Pests" and now I can't ever listen to that song again. Everything in this episode feels like padding because, Jesus, does this episode need it. Oh, but I'm just getting started, let's move on to what this show thinks constitutes for a main plot:


Quagmire rapes a high school student and has to go to prison; again, just turn off your television. To be totally fair, he claims he didn't know she was still in high school; I'm going to have to call bullshit on this, since Quagmire's done this sort of thing with pride before, like what he did to Connie D’Amico. While in court for once, this evil motherfucker tries to justify raping a teenage girl by stating his mother was extremely promiscuous. And by that, I mean when she gave birth to Glenn, she had him shoved back up her uterus 8 more times so she could give birth to him over and over again just to get off to the pain. That joke worked in the Jimmy Neutron episode "Sorry, Wrong Era" because we don't see Hugh doing it, it's just implied. Even worse, Glenn's friends are actually trying to DEFEND HIM because he raped a teenage girl! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!? There's a REASON rape charges don't allow for defendants because, as Glenn points out, once the victim reveals her age, you're guilty as fuck. By the way, we don't ever see the defendant a.k.a. the rape victim after this point. This is another long segment of nothing of substance happening. 


Right AFTER the judge sentences Quagmire, his mother comes into the courthouse to save him. Guys, that doesn’t work that way, you have to do this just BEFORE the judge bangs his gavel, making the sentence official! Also Peter mentions smuggling handguns into a courthouse as a joke, and all Chris wants to do is masturbate to the victim, who he points out isn't shown at all during the court case, to quote MrEnter: "POINTING OUT YOUR PROBLEMS DOESN'T MAKE THEM GO AWAY!" Speaking of Quagmire's mom, she's apparently become a bible-thumping Christian, yet still tries to defend her son, set him free, and tries to "cleanse him". I'm not a Christian, but I'm pretty sure even they have their limits to who can actually be saved; Glenn Quagmire is impossible. I'd also like to point out all the characters in this episode are abhorrent, even Brian, who is an extreme atheist to the point where he crushed Meg's beliefs because she wasn't physically attractive, defends Quagmire's mom, just to make Glenn look sympathetic by comparison. Need I remind everyone he's a rapist of both adults and the under-aged?


Quagmire rightfully calls out his mother, stating she only became a Christian to absolve herself and abandon responsibility of her actions to a higher power, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT HE DOES ON A DAILY BASIS! Pointing out your flaws and being a hypocrite doesn't make you a better person, it makes you WORSE! Because you REALIZE what you're doing is fucked up and you don't care! Right before Glenn rightfully rots in prison, the judge states his sentence has been commuted because Glenn's mother fucked him to get her child rapist son off the hook. Glenn gets away with being the worst kind of monster and learns absolutely nothing. GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!


Cringe-Inducing Audio: 0
Cringe-Inducing Visuals: 5
Lackluster Writing: 4
Annoyance: 4
Disturbing Content: 3
Unnecessary Cruelty: 0
Rancid Morals: 8
Low Production Values: 6
Unfortunate Implications: 6
Character Derailment: 3

Final Score: 35/100


(edit: On second viewing and getting a bit of help from 's reveiw, I feel I may have overexaggerated this episodes badness, I didn't even notice it was a bland ripoff of Brian's a Bad Father, truth be told I tend to do a lot of these pages immediately after watching the episodes, I really should give them more time sometimes, but hey, what can you do? Oh this episode is bad, most of what Family Guy does nowadays is, but it isn't worth me going nuclear, because Family Guy shouldn't even be around anymore, at this point saying they do unnecessary cruelty is like saying the moon is made of cheese. This level of cruelty is now their staple and isn't even worth points. I'll fix the synposis later maybe, I dunno.)


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Animated Atrocities is from .

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